A Shower of Blessings for a Rainbow Baby (31Days - 2014)

A little more than half way through my pregnancy (for Annalise) a dear friend asked how I would feel about having a baby shower. I was conflicted. I love the idea of celebrating every life.

Every life should be celebrated, whether it is your first or fifteenth.

However, as a bereft mom, I had concerns. I didn’t want to play silly party games. I wasn’t going through this pregnancy with the ignorant bliss I once did and I needed others to understand that. I knew too well that just because this pregnancy was healthy and this baby fiercely wanted, there was the real possibility that she might not come home.

I didn’t want to sit in a room full of women celebrating this baby, unless they fully understood how bittersweet such a celebration would be.

[pinit]

Thankfully, my friend was awesomely understanding as we pieced together some ideas of what I felt would be important.

It wouldn’t be a surprise, I needed to be sure to ready my heart for the event.
It would be close to the birth, I wasn’t ready to be ‘prepared’ for a baby months before the arrival.
The invitation list would be short, I shared with her the names of women I trusted because of how they’d reached out during Miranda’s life and death and who’ve been understanding of the long and twisting grief journey.Women who understood that this rainbow baby was not replacing her.
Gifts would be unnecessary, but there were two things I’d want each woman to bring: a bead to represent her and a scripture that she turned to for encouragement.

Although the shower was not a surprise, when I arrived that afternoon I was met with far beyond anything I expected. A home beautifully decorated and full of my dearest friends and family, my support system. So much thought was put into every detail. I felt treasured and that the sweet baby girl I carried was loved and hoped for by all of these women as well.

I’m so thankful for each woman who gave her time preparing.

For the delicious treats that were made.

We had a table set up where women could paint t-shirts for the baby (at the time we had not chosen her name).She’d be wrapped, not only in their prayers, but by a physical reminder of their support.

The scriptures that each lady brought were placed into an album. I looked through these a number of times as I waited for my induction date.

Each bead that the women brought was placed onto a bracelet. I carried this with me the morning I went to the hospital for her birth day. Throughout my labor I would glance at the bracelet for a visual reminder of my support network, each lady who brought home a candle favor, that they lit as a reminder to pray on the day of my induction.

I was beyond blessed by the beautiful gifts that were given and for the ladies that prayed and cried with me, as some gifts that seemed insignificant, brought me to tears.