The result of our efforts is not bringing people into the church, it is instead driving many out, including our own children.

They want nothing to do with what they see as a superficial belief system.

If we want to win people to Christ we have to be real and we have to be honest about who God is. We can not simply latch on to whatever attribute suits our circumstance-of-the-day. If we want our children to make a decision to follow God we need to live our faith authentically in front of them. Telling them what’s right and wrong is not enough. They need to see us making right decisions; choosing to turn our backs against the world when it attempts to pull us from the hand of God.

This path of struggle and trial has taught me a lot about myself and while it has been increasingly difficult, it has driven me to His word to discover who He is.

While Miranda was alive and fighting for each day, we heard from people all over the world who held our daughter in their prayers. Everyone prayed that our daughter would be healed and come home with us.

Vince and I prayed that His will would be done, that we desired for our daughter to be with us, but that we were submitted to His will.

Our daughter died.

He answered our prayers.

Miranda was healed, but not in the way everyone thought she would or should.

Some people questioned how that could be God’s will when so many were praying in His name for her healing.

Most people said nothing, the immediate had passed and they moved on.

They were focused on one aspect of God… The Healer.

How does our view of Him change when healing doesn’t happen the way we’ve had our hearts set on? We’ve forgotten that the God who heals is the same God that commands obedience. The God that loves is the same God of wrath. Our God who provides is the same God who disciplines. People often quote Jeremiah 29:11 (“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”) as a promise that God will keep us from harm. They fail to see from the surrounding verses that this promise wouldn’t come to be until after 70 years in exile. This promise would be for the next generation.

We have to endure the trial to see the promise.

If we only focus on a single aspect of Him we are left with a shallow faith.

God is bigger than our ability to define Him.

While I dread that my children have been exposed to the sadness of death, I am thankful that we are able to teach them that God is good because He Is, not because of our circumstances. We also have the opportunity to speak to them about honesty in a deeper way than before. We can teach them about being honest and open before God.

Knowing that He is good does not mean we accept Miranda’s death with out question. He knows our hearts; He knows we are sad, disappointed, angry, and confused. He is bigger and stronger than our questioning and when we lay it before Him, He guides us through the healing.

Bringing our questions to God doesn’t mean that we lack faith in Him, it means we know that He holds the answers.

We need to leave the “everything is fine” facade behind and get real with each other. Through our sincerity and honesty others will be drawn to Christ as they seek to understand how we, as believers, can handle adversity while keeping Christ on the throne.

Being a Christian isn’t an exemption from trial, it is a life-preserver through it and the promise that it isn’t without purpose. The more honest we can be about the very real tribulations to come, the stronger a foundation we will lay for genuine belief and healthy relationship with The Savior.

Don’t tie yourself to The Rock with a single thread and expect that anyone can hang on through the storm. Reinforce the supports that keep you grounded in faith.

This post is being shared with the Women Living Well Wednesday link-up. Be sure to visit other contributors.

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If you know me very well you know that this silence isn’t because there isn’t anything to share.

Actually it is most likely to mean that there is so much to say that I have been in prayer over processing things before sharing with you all. I could chose to just remain silent, but the prompting on my spirit to share these things with you must be answered.

I would love to share that things have gotten quiet and that the storm is finally starting to pass.

But it isn’t.

I have said over and over that the month of October, while our Miranda fought for her life, was the easy part. These months since have been increasingly difficult.

Today Miranda would be nine months old.

Instead of writing updates of the milestones she’s hitting I am contemplating the design of a grave stone.

I still struggle to wrap my mind around that.

Yes, time has gone on and our lives have continued. There is still laughter and smiles in our home and there are also tears and frustration. There is someone missing and that will never go away. Time may dull the newness of the pain but it doesn’t erase it.

Time doesn’t heal, God does.

His healing happens each time I bring my pain to Him. It is a process and a daily challenge.

I can not fill you in on everything that is going on in one post, so there is quite a bit more coming. This post was just to let you know that those updates are coming because it is important for me to share this with you. We are so grateful for the love and support we’ve received in these months and know that you all have great concern for how our family is healing.

Thank you for keeping our family in your sincere prayers.

The post When all is quiet… appeared first on CreativLEI.

My mom came to visit this past weekend for our annual trek to the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival. (It was lovely as always and I’ll recap in a later post.)

Getting ready for her visit hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting.

As I hurried around the house putting things where they belong and cleaning up the little piles of crumbs, dog hair, and dirt from the floor and scrubbed down the main bathroom it hit me.

I had busied myself preparing for a visit…

but I often neglect a resident.

I’m not talking about my husband and children.

I’m talking about my Heavenly Father.

I readied my house because I love my mom and when she visits my home I want her to be comfortable and enjoy our visit, but I can be honest and admit sometimes those little chores are neglected and turn into quite a task. Getting them done is not my default, though I wish it were and I am working on it.

And so I thought of my relationship with my Savior.

I had invited Him into my life 18 years ago…

Not to visit, but to reside in my life.

But I often treat Him like a visitor. Cleaning and tidying up before we can sit and visit.

He’s not interested in my fussiness. He wants me and my heart.

I need to stop viewing Him as a visitor and start seeing Him as the resident I have asked Him to be. I need to keep my home, not in a reaction to an upcoming visit but as a result of an active, thriving relationship. My children need to see me living in His word, not scampering to get it done, not checking a box.

How do you ensure you view Him as a resident in your home and not a visitor? Do you only visit with Him in His house, on His day? What keeps you from inviting Him into your home? From a daily relationship?

This post is part of the Welcome Home link-up at Raising Arrows

and miscellany Monday at lowercase letters

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Last week after our family group the chaplain honored my request for one last walk through the PICU, most of these pictures are from that walk. I was able to go all the way to the end of the hall to the suite where Miranda had been (thankfully the bay she had was not filled with an ECMO bed this time), I also saw the room that I held her body in.

And I left the PICU and will never return.

This was the sign that greeted you as you entered the JHH PICU.

And for this milestone weekend I was away from my family. I attended the 2:1 Conference from the 27th-29th. There were many tears on the drive down to Virginia and a few that first night as well. Thankfully I wasn’t with people who stared at me awkwardly wondering when I’d gain control. I was with sisters in Christ who understood grief.

When Vince and I arrived from UMMC we went up to the 7th floor of the JHH to the PICU and waited to be told what was happening with our little one.

One of my roommates knows what it is like to live life after losing both of her parents tragically without warning.

The sweet friend I shared a dinner table with on Friday lost her sweet 5th child when she was 7 months old.

The dear friend that sat next to me in Amy’s break-out session on Saturday lost her home last year to a fire, and she had brought her precious little one with her.

This is Stephanie's little guy. The first time I saw him I *knew* he was right around the age Miranda would be. Sure enough he was born just 2 weeks after her. He blessed my heart.

God knew what I needed this weekend. This was not plan B. There were tears. But they were good.

I’m okay with not being able to go back. We have chosen to go forward since the day Miranda was born. Losing her did not change our direction, it just jostled the path.

This room. It was the first room on the unit we were brought to. It was the room I used to pump for 28 days. It was the last room we sat in after Miranda died. It was the room where we signed all the papers.

He has more planned for us. We don’t know exactly what that is, we just keep walking through the doors He opens:

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”-Phillipians 1:6

This post is part of the monthly link-up at Still Standing Online Magazine

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