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The Homeschool Mommy Wars

Creating a Life You Love· Titus 2 in Real Life· Unpopular Opinions

22 May

If you’ve read my previous post on Mommy Wars, you know that this is a hot-button issue for me.

With so many women hurting and feeling lonely and isolated, why are we always so quick to point fingers and so slow to embrace and encourage?

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Today I’m sharing my thoughts over on the Home Educating Family Association (HEDUA) blog, The Homeschool Mommy Wars.

There are so many things weighing moms down everywhere, so much to fight against. As homeschoolers we sometimes feel that weight exponentially since we are not only parenting but also educating our children.
We make a thousand small decisions each day that all add up to the huge responsibility that is motherhood. What am I making for dinner? Did all my children wash their faces before we left the house? Did they each wear a matching pair of shoes? Does my quiet time count if it wasn’t really quiet and it got interrupted 17 times? What if my son still doesn’t write out book reports in the 5th grade? Will my reviewer mark us deficient if we haven’t gotten through our history book… again?

While we educate our children at home, one of the things we hope to shelter them from is the harshness of bullies and mean girls… but the sad reality is that many of us unintentionally speak (and type) words of hurt, all too often.

In our day and age, when internet communication has become a primary mode of connection, we need to remember that what we say online can and does hurt those on the other side of our screen.

Please join me over at HEDUA to read more.

What I Learned at Teach Them Diligently

Creating a Life You Love· Titus 2 in Real Life

20 May

I had the blessing of attending the Teach Them Diligently Convention in Nashville, May 16-18. If you read my pre-convention post you know that I was both excited and prayerful for the opportunity that attendance held.

We had an amazing time!

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The team behind the convention did an incredible time lining up speaker sessions that were nearly impossible to choose between. Some of my favorite speakers were there, and many that I’d never had the chance to see or hear live but knew from their books or online presence that they would be excellent.

However, much of what I learned didn’t happen in the sessions and seminars, it was in observing all these things through my son’s eyes.

There were many times I was tempted to bring him to the things I was interested in for him, but if I stayed back and paid attention to what he was drawn to I found exactly what I needed. I really wanted him to attend the teen track, instead he choose the sessions he was most interested and really soaked it in. I need to remember that I’m training my children according to their bent (Prov. 22:6), not mine.

Here is a glimpse of what we experienced.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing some of the curriculum choices I made as a result of this trip and also of the impact the speaker sessions had. It was affirmed for me clearly that a change in direction and manner is needed in our homeschooling to grow together as a family. Things such as hearing about (real) love from Norm Wakefield of Spirit of Elijah. Incredibly powerful words to build into your family. Or Rachael Carman, whose words to moms are sure to transform your thinking and center you in His word to move forward powerfully equipped. Heidi St. John‘s encouragement to moms will help you rock the role of wife, mom, and homeschooler! Tom Clark helped me relax and encourage my children in our approach to teaching math.

If you are a homeschooler (or even if you’re a parent who is curious about homeschooling or need encouragement for discipling your children) I would greatly encourage you to attend a Teach Them Diligently Convention (online registration for Omaha ends today, May 20). If you can attend as a family you will not regret it, it truly is a family-friendly/family-centered event. If the convention is too far for you to travel be sure to check if the Marketplace event is coming to a city near you this summer. It is a one-day event that is incredibly budget-friendly at just $15 per family (you’ll get a $10 coupon to spend in the market hall!) and you’ll have the chance to hear from some of the great speakers from convention!

I’ll be downloading a bunch of the mp3 files for the sessions I missed and those I know I need to hear again. I took many notes and tweeted some highlights over the weekend, but sometimes (often) I need to hear things over again to really soak in the wisdom.

For now we’re unpacking and settling back in at home and looking forward to what this coming school year will look like with renewed vision and goals.

Thank you David and Leslie Nunnery, for following through with the vision God has given you for equipping families. Can’t wait to see you all in Washington, DC next May!!

Go take a look at the #hsttd feed on Twitter, which gem did you find most encouraging?

**Disclosure: Many of the links in this post are affiliate links, if you make purchase after clicking those links we will receive a small portion of that sale as a thank you from the company for the referral, with no added cost to you. The FTC requires disclosure and I am happy to comply. I only recommend products, services, and events that we honestly endorse. These are the types of things I would share with you if we met for coffee. My full disclosure policy is found here.**

A Getaway With a Purpose

Creating a Life You Love· Titus 2 in Real Life

14 May

Later this week I will be attending the Teach Them Diligently (TTD) Convention in Nashville, TN.

There are many reasons I wanted to attend TTD, but last week God impressed upon me why I would be attending. The purpose of this getaway is a chance to reconnect with my oldest son.

I love a little ‘mom-time’ when I get it, but without purpose it doesn’t do much to really re-charge me.

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When I met Leslie and David Nunnery(Teach Them Diligently founders) at the 2:1 Conference and heard the mission for the convention, the hearts behind its creation, I knew this was an event worth attending. Their words:

…the decision to homeschool was not made because of superior education in our case but for the purpose of discipleship.

That was purpose I wholly relate to! We do hope to give our children and excellent education, but that is secondary to our desire and goal of discipling them to be godly men and women.

I was thankful to accept the invitation to be a TDD blogger, but I knew it probably meant I’d be cheering them on with support from the sidelines during the conventions this season but hopefully attending the upcoming Marketplace events that will be closer to home.

When I followed along on Twitter (#hsttd) during the Spartanburg weekend my heart was pricked by some of the quotes tweeted by the other TTD bloggers from some of the speakers. I retweeted and posted them on my Facebook page to share with others:

“The hardest thing about being a mom? The fact that everyday, I can raise you up to a holy and mighty God, and you can still choose to walk away.” @RachaelCarman (tweeted by @UpsideDownHS)
“Teach Them Diligently = whetting, sharpening, putting an edge on your children like with sword.” @clayclarkson (tweeted by @apelser)
“If you feel like you have to spoon feed your kid their education you’re creating teacher dependent kids. @jeannie_science (tweeted by @getalonghome)

Needless to say, I really wished I was there. But it wasn’t in our plans, it wasn’t exactly in our budget. It was very last minute.

But, God can make a way when it is His will.

Over the past few months the relationship between our oldest son and I has been increasingly strained. It’s a delicate line that I straddle, understanding that he is maturing and feeling his way into early manhood, and me as the mother knowing when to discipline and when give advice and encouragement.

He is a very smart boy and he challenges me daily. Sometimes I wonder if he sees ‘mom’ and forgets that I am also a child of God, his sister in Christ. Does her realize that I was his father’s wife before he was born, and that the bond between Vince and I comes first? I know he often takes for granted that I had a life prior to motherhood and that I have an identity and influence outside of our home.

This past week Vince and I finally came to the realization that the struggles we’re fighting are spiritual warfare. Satan wants to snatch our children. He is threatened by strong families. He wants to crumble the foundation we’re laying.

We’re saying loudly, “No! You cannot have these children! You cannot have this foothold in our home!”

And so my ‘want’ to attend TTD became a clear opportunity. I could travel with Evan, I could include him in something that is part of my world and a perspective of it that he doesn’t normally see. I could share a getaway with him and have FUN. Not nag about schoolwork. Not remind him to clean his room. Not give him a dirty look for leaving his cereal bowl on the table until dinner time.

Now there is much to do before we leave. I have mountains of laundry to get through so we can pack (and those we’re leaving home have clean clothes, too). I have to make a trip to the post office to ship out the used school books we’ve sold (which providentially all sold in less than 24 hours to provide our spending money for the vendor hall!), and I need to make my list of things to check out and purchase for our upcoming school year.

If you live near Nashville, you can still attend. Registration is available onsite.

If you live near Omaha your opportunity to attend is coming soon! Registration is open online until May 19th (after that you can register onsite).

I’m asking you all to pray with and for me that the weekend is used in a way that glorifies God and builds the way He sees fit.

**Disclosure: Many of the links in this post are affiliate links, if you purchase after clicking those links we will receive a small portion of that sale as a thank you from the company for the referral. The FTC requires disclosure and I am happy to comply. I only recommend products, services, and events that we believe in. These are the types of things I would share with you if we met for coffee. My full disclosure policy is found here.**

When Mother’s Day isn’t Happy…

Creating a Life You Love· Life After Loss

12 May

It has become a reflexive response for just about all of us to wish any mother we see today a “Happy Mother’s Day”. The same thing happens with any holiday. It is the right thing to do. Isn’t it?

I can’t help but think of how many women for whom Mother’s Day isn’t ‘happy’.

You all understand what a bittersweet day this is for me. It seems to go without saying that a mom who has lost a child or children will have a hard time celebrating the day when she longs to mother the one she has lost. I’ve seen so many posts and pictures that are thankfully very kind to loss moms. However, my sensitivity to this day makes me think of others who may be hurting today as well.

My heart hurts for those who lost their mother sooner than they ought to. Those who thought they had time and weren’t ready to say goodbye. Those who walked down their wedding aisle without their mom there dabbing away tears of joy, those whose mothers were gone before ever meeting their grandchildren.

I have an ache for mothers that are suffering from illness and know that this Mother’s Day may be their last. They are the moms whose hearts are breaking at the thought of their children growing up without them. They’re doing the very best to embrace each day that they have and holidays just add to the challenge.

I also pray for the women who have been so wounded by the woman who birthed them that they can not imagine calling her ‘Mom’. While I am thankful to have a mother who loves each of her children dearly, I know that sadly that is not the truth for all women. I can not even imagine how conflicted they might feel today.

My heart goes out to the mothers who’ve chosen abortion for any reason, who’ve been told they aren’t mothers. I see you as a grieving mother, and while there are people who will tell you that you have no right to grieve, or maybe you don’t even want to grieve, I know there is an subconscious remembrance of dates that plaques you whether you allow it or not, because your heart knows and won’t forget… It is okay if 364 days of the year you are certain that it was the best of the worst possible choices, and it is okay if there is that 1 day (or more) that you think “what if…”

How do we proceed?

I don’t know how or if it is possible to make the day less painful for those hurting. I haven’t even figured out how I’m supposed to embrace this day. We visited the cemetery so I could share my flowers at Miranda’s grave. I asked Vince to take a picture of me with the children. It seemed so wrong and so right at the same time.

I ask that you be gentle and kind to the women you see today.

There may be a smile on her face, but she may also be hurting.

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