It has become a reflexive response for just about all of us to wish any mother we see today a “Happy Mother’s Day”. The same thing happens with any holiday. It is the right thing to do. Isn’t it?
I can’t help but think of how many women for whom Mother’s Day isn’t ‘happy’.
You all understand what a bittersweet day this is for me. It seems to go without saying that a mom who has lost a child or children will have a hard time celebrating the day when she longs to mother the one she has lost. I’ve seen so many posts and pictures that are thankfully very kind to loss moms. However, my sensitivity to this day makes me think of others who may be hurting today as well.
My heart hurts for those who lost their mother sooner than they ought to. Those who thought they had time and weren’t ready to say goodbye. Those who walked down their wedding aisle without their mom there dabbing away tears of joy, those whose mothers were gone before ever meeting their grandchildren.
I have an ache for mothers that are suffering from illness and know that this Mother’s Day may be their last. They are the moms whose hearts are breaking at the thought of their children growing up without them. They’re doing the very best to embrace each day that they have and holidays just add to the challenge.
I also pray for the women who have been so wounded by the woman who birthed them that they can not imagine calling her ‘Mom’. While I am thankful to have a mother who loves each of her children dearly, I know that sadly that is not the truth for all women. I can not even imagine how conflicted they might feel today.
My heart goes out to the mothers who’ve chosen abortion for any reason, who’ve been told they aren’t mothers. I see you as a grieving mother, and while there are people who will tell you that you have no right to grieve, or maybe you don’t even want to grieve, I know there is an subconscious remembrance of dates that plaques you whether you allow it or not, because your heart knows and won’t forget… It is okay if 364 days of the year you are certain that it was the best of the worst possible choices, and it is okay if there is that 1 day (or more) that you think “what if…”
How do we proceed?
I don’t know how or if it is possible to make the day less painful for those hurting. I haven’t even figured out how I’m supposed to embrace this day. We visited the cemetery so I could share my flowers at Miranda’s grave. I asked Vince to take a picture of me with the children. It seemed so wrong and so right at the same time.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful words. I lost my mom when she was only 50 and I was 27. I was just getting to the age where we could become friends—I miss her terribly! I just read another post that I thought you might appreciate. i hope you don’t mind me sharing it with you. http://hopefulworld.org/blog/in-case-mothers-day-is-hard-for-you/
God Bless 🙂
Christy
Thank you Christine, for your words of encouragement. I hope that this day was as gentle as possible to you. Thank you also for sharing that post, it was lovely.
Lovely. This year, my thoughts were less on myself and the loss of my parents and I had a great ache in my chest for my grandmother–having lost her only son too soon. It makes beauty from heartache when we can use our own loss to reach out in compassion to others…
I really think that God uses it as a gift of grace to us. When we yield our broken hearts to minister to others who are hurting, He uses that to help mend our hearts. Thank you for being a woman further on the journey who is willing to share.