I’ve been keeping a secret. Well, unless you’ve seen me in the past few weeks (because it really isn’t a secret if you’ve seen my belly).
This past July we found that we were pregnant and are looking forward, filled with hope but also a bit of trepidation, to welcoming our rainbow baby this March.
Why a rainbow? In the infant loss community, a baby born after loss is sometimes called a rainbow. For me the meaning is multifaceted.
After the flood, God placed the rainbow in the sky to serve as a symbol to Noah and his family that never again would he allow the entire earth to be covered in the waters. For me it is a reminder that although there will still be many tough days ahead and we are not protected from further loss, all will not be destroyed.
There is hope through the storm.
It doesn’t mean that we are done grieving Miranda. On the contrary, I miss her even more. She’s a big sister, but this little one won’t get to see her face this side of Heaven.
The hope of this baby doesn’t lessen the pain of her loss, but it gives us assurance that good can come in the wake of pain.
Physically, this pregnancy has been just as easy as my others. Emotionally, it has been a great trial.
Our other children are excited and eagerly awaiting the day they’ll find out if this precious babe is a brother or a sister. They’re also very prayerful that this little one arrives safely. Their prayers serve as a reminder of the scars their little hearts bear as well.
Why keep the news a secret?
Well, we didn’t set out to keep it a secret, but the many emotions that this news entails have us guarding our hearts. A new life is great reason for joy, but coupled with that joy are our prayers that our Lord would calm our very real fears. We are incredibly blessed by the hope of this little one, but we know that only God knows the days of this precious little one’s life and sometimes the fear of what can’t be known by us puts a shadow over what used to be blissful pregnancy.
I’m sure if you’ve followed our journey for any length of time you have many questions.
Are we seeing a midwife? Will this baby be born at home? Will this be our last baby? Is it a boy or a girl? How am I feeling?
I’ll answer those questions, but not in this post. 😉 They each deserve their own time.
Oh, Lisa, how beautiful…a rainbow baby! I am praising God with you for the gift of life that He is knitting together inside of you! Yes, I can’t wait to have you answer some of the next questions you mentioned!
Wow 21 weeks already!!!! Over half way there! Baby looks beautiful.
Also, I love your explanation of what the rainbow in the ark story means to you. I feel the same way, but have never been able to adequately express those feelings in words.
It is difficult because the symbol of the rainbow means something different to each person. For me it’s always been a display of God’s creativity and promise. So no matter what else others may use to define it, I know for me, it is God’s sign. And yes, 21 weeks, it’s gone so fast and so slow at the same time. I love getting a peek at that little person!
Thank you so much. We greatly covet prayers for the season ahead. <3
What an exciting and emotional experience. Believe me I know. We now have two rainbow babies 🙂 I pray that God’s will is the same for you and your new rainbow baby. 21 weeks is great!!!
Thank you so much. Prayers from the faithful mean so much to our family. We know He will accomplish His will through us. <3
Hello there, I found you at the Ultimate Homeschool Blog Roll 🙂 Congratulation, I look forward to reading more of your blog. Thank you. Tara (The Proverbs 31 Sanctuary)